My Dearest

(fashioncopious.typepad; fashiongonerogue)

What is your first ever memory of your life?
The oldest memory you remember from your childhood.
I'm writing since I remember. All my childhood my fingers was always black from atrament. And the gift I had been enjoying most as a kid was a notebook. I couldn't wait till I sit at my desk and make it full with words and illustrations.
But this is not my first memory from my childhood. My first ever memory of my life is a small toy lying on the ground on a train station. A cat-doll in a pink dress. Everyone is in hurry. My mother is pulling my hand. And I watch my little cat lying on the ground. But I don't say anything. I don't pick it up. I just watch it in silence.
When I asked my parents many years later about that they told me that cat-doll was my favourite toy and I didn't want to put it in my backpack and I was holding it in my hands all the way from Japan to Poland. But I lost it somewhere. They didn't notice it and they didn't know where I lost it. I was three years old.
I'm not sad I lost it. So many material things human wants to own. But the dearest for us are always the memories.
What is your first memory?

~Pola Chérie Thoughts~

Pola Chérie Thoughts 2011 @ All rights reserved

Helmet Magazine, Models: Grace Hollows, Zippora Seven and Georgia Fowler, Photographed by Liz Ham; A White Story Vogue Italia April 2010, Models: Sasha Pivovarova & Guinevere van Seenus, Photographed by Paolo Roversi, Styled by Jacob K; Playing Fashion March 2011, Models: Anais Pouliot & Marique Schimmel, Photographed by: Emma Tempest, Styled by: Verity Parker

A lazy sunday's late afternoon

 
I'm in Japan at my mother's house since last November. I've passed entrance exams, found an apartment in Tokyo and now I'm only waiting till April to move there.

Waiting till April I'm having the best time of my life. Full of hopes, passion and dreams. And first time in my adult life I can spend a time with my mother. Precious time. I moved out from my parents house when I was sixteen. Soon after my mother moved back to Japan. Five years later seems like this few months were given to us to spend this lazy sunday's late afternoons toghether. Having a tea. Talking about future and past.

And while we talk first signs of spring are delighting softly my heart. And I feel a happiness. And a gratitude. And a time is passing slowly.

I am going to take these vintage tea cups with me when I will be moving to Tokyo. And I will keep my precious time of happiness deep in my heart. Believing that someone, someday will find them and feel the same way I did.

~Pola Chérie Thoughts~

A Desire of the Touch And A Pride

(thefashioncult.com; objectfashionblog.com; fashioncopious.typepad.com; stylediggers.com)

What wins in our life? A desire of the touch or a pride. When we know that its over. And when love had been replaced by sober consciousness, sorrow and regrets. And we know that these uncountable disappoinments made us heart hard like a insensible stone and there is no way to heal it and change the course.

What we miss the most is A Touch. A touch we got used to feel. Which used to make us feel comfortable. A Pride doesn't allow to get involved again but starving desire of the touch is stronger than ever before. To reject the humanity or to leave. To whisper to your empty soul or make the wounds be healed. What wins in our life?

~Pola Chérie Thoughts~

Pola Chérie Thoughts 2011 @ All rights reserved

I wasn't able to live in a world of anonymous crowds and empty laughs so I created my own

(fashiongonerogue.com)

Photographed by Michael Donovan; Styled by Katie Burnett; Model: Jana Wirth

And I paint the same portraits every day. A portraits of people who were in my life but are gone. Who I loved most in my life but I coudn't keep by my side. Who I loved most in my life but were here just to kill their loneliness. Who I loved most in my life but I let them go away. Who I abandoned for my art. For my art to be free. To be alone. Because I wanted to be alone. Because then I don't have to worry that someone won't understand me. I'm not afraid of world because I live in my own.

But I'm still afraid of crowds.

~Pola Chérie Thoughts~

Pola Chérie Thoughts 2011 @ All rights reserved

On the other side of eyelids

(fashioncopious.typepad.com)
Dazed & Confused February 2011
Photographed by Rankin; Styled by Katie Shillingford; Model: Andrea Riseborough

On the other side of your eyelids. Thats where I want to be.

By the way you can see the line on face to which you should put foundation. I always wondered how far is too far.

~Pola Chérie Thoughts~

Pola Chérie Thoughts 2011 @ All rights reserved

Don't cry over spoiled milk, be happy it wasn't a whisky

(fashiongonerogue.com; trendland.net)

For all of us the first most important drink in our lives was without a doubts milk because it enables our proper biological development. Next when we are grown up enought to have our own money our favourite drink can became a variously different things for example something whith a good balance of included percentage - like whisky. If milk stands for our childhood there is no reason to cry over spoiled milk because you can change your life to better. You can still drink a whisky on the rock.

The truth is a real ability of enjoying a good deep tastes comes with age. A really good things in our lives force us to grow up to them. Only then you say: I didn't cry and I didn't stop. I've carried on.

I never drink when I'm writing.

~Pola Chérie Thoughts~

Pola Chérie Thoughts 2011 @ All rights reserved

Calypso

Vogue Italia February 2011

Photographed by Miles Aldridge; Styled by Alice Gentilucci; Model: Charlotte di Calypso

(image via www.fashiongonerogue.com)

Sometimes I put a make up on my face even if I know I'm not going anywhere. Sometimes I'm telling myself that I am planning to go somewhere but I secretly know that finally I won't. I sit in front of a mirror and make up very slowly. I carefully choose colours, shapes, and tones. I curl my eyelashes imagining that tonight someone will look into my eyes and be strangely surprised. Then I open my white jewellery box and take one by one each treasure to my hand. I imagine to how wonderful parties and shows I will go wearing them. How many hands will want to shake with mine. How many words will be exchanged. How many happiness they will give me back that night after many years spend in a closure.

And when I realize I'm sitting in a dark room. I put a dressing-gown on my naked arms and go to bathroom. I look at my perfect hair, perfect make up and shining jewellery.

And there is a moment when I face the truth that I have to wash it all off and go to sleep and the only thing which awaits me is a lonely night.

But I know. I know I will be loved some day again.

~Pola Chérie When you left me~

Pola Chérie Thoughts 2011 @ All rights reserved