Come with me

Come with me, it is too lonely to be lonely

~Where is Mary-Bell?
- Do you know where were we before we were born?
~ I don't
- Neither do I. So I can't tell you where Mary-Bell is

- I am leaving
~ Where?
- Far away
Are you going with me?
Come
Come with me, it is too lonely to be lonely


[Allan Twilight,Edgar Portsnell]
Hagio Moto "Poe no Ichizoku" (ポーの一族 ,"The Poe Family")
(Translated by Pola Chérie)

~Pola Chérie Immortal Longing~

? ; Vogue Italia November 2002, M: Natalia Vodianova, P: Ellen von Unwerth; The Grand Couture Vogue Italia September 2010, M: Kristen McMenamy, P: Paolo Roversi, S: Edward Enninful ; Qvest, M: Lisette, P: TOMAAS, S: Carla Engler; C: imageamplified.com, fashiongonerogue.com, Hagio Moto

What One's Own (Bruno Dayan Photography)

How vain we could be being unhappy having everything what one's need

How much can we be imprisoned in our own desires

And how blind can we become seeking only for material things we want to have

Here in Japan I saw by my own eyes how my compatriots lost everything they owned: houses, clothes, all the belongings.

I was devastated. My heart was broken.

There was an older man who managed to escape from tsunami. He said he lost everything he was working for whole his life.

'But I am living' he said. I am living.

His words gave me back a hope.

I have learn that everything was given to me and can be any time taken away.

And I have learned that the only thing which one’s owns is what we truly love, what is inside us and what no one can take away from us.

I appreciate everything I have more now. I appreciate every meal I can eat and every sunshine which makes me feel warmer. And I smile to my mother every time when she is leaving a house and we are saying goodbye to each other.

~Pola Chérie What one's own~

Brilliant Bruno Dayan's Photography http://www.brunodayan.com/

Don't forget to check out Bruno Dayan Celebrity's Photographs! AMAZING (loved him even more)!

Be Different

That was a one moment when, for the first time, she has realized how much hatred is inside her and if she doesn't do anything, it will take a control of her, she made a decision she will be different.

When she was a little girl the clock's alarm had been ringing every morning at 6:20. And her mother, sleeping next to her, was waking up and heading to kitchen to prepare the breakfast. She heard faint sounds and noises her mother was making, somewhere far away but very close to her.

That was a day mother was sitting in a dark room when a girl returned from school. Mother was holding in her hands yellow Winnie-the-Pooh's diary-notebook she gave her on her birthday knowing how much her daughter likes to write. She opened it. There were three words:

"A Bad Day"

She turned a page. A Bad Day. Next page. A Bad Day. A Bad day. A BAD DAY. Again and again. Under the each date of weeks and months. It was obvious that a girl hadn't been writing anything for a long time and that she filled one day the empty pages with that, the same sentence.

A girl didn't want to look at mother's eyes.

That was a time she had been suffering from discrimination at school. Every single day was like a downfall, a collapse deeper and deeper into the darkness of hell. That was a time she was full of miserable hatred for people who are hurting her, for world, for herself and for God who created her.

But a girl had been keeping it as a secret in front of her mother. She didn't want to make her sad.

The Hatred is like a poison injected into a ones heart. And one small sore motion can make it spread all over our body taking control of us.

The Hatred takes away faith, hope and love. It makes you cold, heartless and incapable to feel the happiness.

It makes you feel like you are a bad person and like you are able to harm people without any mercy for them.

Yes, she wanted to see her torturers dying in a infernal pain. She wanted to see them begging for help. Dissappering into the throat of the fire. Only then they could feel what they have done to her.

She thought her mother saw it. Saw how the poison spread all over her soul and made her a beast.

But mother didn't ask about anything. She said:

"I believe you grow up to be a very good person."

And a girl understood.

If you hate it is your loss.

Because even if there are people who hate you and wish you worst things - you do not have to hate them.

Because even if there are people who are saying false things about you - you do not have to respond to it and try to argue with them.

Because hatred is not an answer.

She understood some day she will have a power to stand up for others like her, suffering from violence and discrimination.

And she heard a voice in her heart saying

Be different

Do not hate

You are a God's creation

~Pola Chérie Be different~

Vanity Fair Italy March 2011, M: Bianca Balti, P: Signe Vilstrup; The Ones2Watch, M: Saara & Teresa, P: Ville Varumo, S: Heidi Marika Urpalainen; Vogue Italia, March 2011, Dreaming of Another World, P: Time Walker; C: fashionising.com, fashiongonerogue.com, hautemacabre.com

Our Meeting Was Only A Ricochet

Our meeting was only a ricochet
allocated to touch
but not for a long time

difficult to calculate or predict

due to the many variables involved

meant to rebound, bounce and skip off

from each others surfaces to fly

into two different directions

to finally disappear

in the universe

a ricochet.

~Pola Chérie Ricochet~

Pola Chérie Poems 2011 @ All rights reserved

i-D Spring 2011, M: Alla Kostromiceva and Aymeline Valade, P: Josh Olins, S: Alastair McKimm; fashiongonerogue, fashioneditorials.com

Mare

 
 In my mares I'm still a little girl.

A little girl who can't protect herself. And I can't shout for help. I allow them come into me. I allow a Snake come into the Nest. And I allow a Poison to spread all over my body.

I let The Endless Pain come into me.

And when I wake up I'm so afraid. If this happiness I was finally able to find was fake. If I am still a little girl and my long journey was just a dream of my sick mind. Am I still desperately trying to find an escape. Did I kill myself hiding deeper and deeper into myself to not to feel the pain?

But I realize that the Nightmare ended. And that it is already a Morning. I realize I am, I will be happy now. And I promise myself I will be fighting to protect the Happiness.

Because I am a survivor.

~Pola Chérie Thoughts~

Pola Chérie "A Snake in The Nest"

Pola Chérie Thoughts 2011 @ All rights reserved

Darker is the Memory, Vogue Nippon October 2010, M: Raquel Zimmermann, P: Mario Sorrenti, S: George Cortina; Numéro #121, M: Dree Hemingway, P: Sofia & Mauro, S: Samuel François; Vogue Italia May 2010, M: Elisa Sednaoui, P: Stephane Sednaoui; Vogue Germany May 2010, M: Georgina Stojiljkovic, P: Ben Hassett, S: Claudia Englmann; Kurv Magazine, M: Alison Arboux, P: Jonathan Segade, S: Sara Bascunan

I want to go farther (Creativity & Dreams)

What are your favourite words?

Mine are Creativity and Dreams. But to be honest I like them mixed together than exposed in two words.

Remember how I wrote about japanese PR girl? After watching documentary with her one particular sentense of her has been remaining all the time in my head.

She is succesful businesswoman, wife and founder of PR school. You would say: her dreams came true. No wonder that her friend ask her what are her wishes for the new year (they were filming in December/January). But she answered that she doesn't have dreams. She has only plans.

I was surprised to hear that. But after a while I have realized that this weird astonishment didn't come from me being impressed by her words. I felt there is something different about me. But she is a person who succeeded because of her Creativity. Giving nice ideas. Making images of comanies. And I admire her.

I couldn't find an answer for a long time.

Yesterday I was watching a documentary, this time, about Miyazaki Hayao. And there was a scene when he said when he starts drawing a new anime film his story is unfinished. He finds the ending during making it. And that was my answer.

The dreams are being made when your creativity is pushed over its limits. He said after he made "Princess Mononoke" he wanted to "go farther". Further into the mind. Into dreams. Into the imaginary world. Into creativity. His next film won an Oscar.

Why am I comparing these two people? They are from two differents proffesions. I compare them because they both are using their creativity to work.

One would say that creativity is watching your dreams and making them alive. Into movie, novel, drawing. But one would say that the dreams and creativity are two different things. Because once you have a great idea sometimes it just don't fit to be realized in life and you have to think of another option. And that is a point of good business.

I like Creativity and Dreams as one word. As one world where you can always go farther.

What is your favourite word?

~Pola Chérie Thoughts~

Pola Chérie Thoughts 2011 @ All rights reserved

Vogue UK Oct.09 "The Lady Who Fell to Earth”, M: Kinga Rajzak, P: Tim Walker, S: Kate Phelan; Vogue Paris September 1999, P: Ruven Afanador, M: Audrey Marnay, Devon Aoki, Esther Canadas, Malgosia Bela, Art Direction: Marcus Von Ackerman; "Tales of the Unexpected" by Tim Walker for Vogue UK; Vogue India November 2010, “Where Troubles Melt Like Lemon Drops”, M: Karlie Kloss, P: Tim Walker, S: Jacob K.; TIM BURTON’S TRICKS AND TREATS FOR HARPER’S BAZAAR BY TIM WALKER; The "Bubble Series" shot by Melvin Sokolsky for Harper's magazine in 1963; C: trendland; fashiongonerogue; via-eskell.com

where your love took me to

blue blue eyes

white white lies

look

where your love took me to

blue blue sky

sweet sweet lies

where your love took me to

there is no you any more

your eyes

blue sky

white lies

sweet times

I'm lonely again

~~~

~Pola Chérie~

Pola Chérie Poems 2011 @ All rights reserved

fashiongonerogue, www.emreguven.com

Don't Give Up

Go where your life wants you to be

where your heart finds it's place

where your pain hears it's lullaby

where your eyes can see the sunrise

Even if you are alone

Even if you feel like

your existence is just a number

counted dead or alive

Don't tell me so

You have to live

I want you to live

Don't give up

I beg you

Live

for me

for the people who are waiting for you in the future

for the people who needs you to stand up for them

for the children who needs a protection

for the lonely chick which fell out from the nest

Live

There is a Future

Don't give up

Live

~Pola Chérie Don't Give Up (Pola for Japan)~

Pola Chérie Thoughts 2011 @ All rights reserved

Shades of Summer by Alex Freund, Models: Bekah Jenkins & Vanessa Milde; QVEST #44, Model: Merethe Hopland, Photographed by Jacob Sadrak, Styled by Cristian Temi; Vogue Paris December/January 2007.2008, Model: Isabeli Fontana, Photographed by Mario Sorrenti; Vogue Germany April 2011, Model: Britt Maren, Photographed by Claudia Knoepfel & Stefan Indlekofer, Styled by Nicola Knels; C: fashiongonerogue.com, fashioncopious.typepad.com

I STAY, RIGHT HERE, IN JAPAN

Why does some people laugh when something bad happens in someone else's life? Why does some people seem to be having a joy from someone else's misfortune?

Since 11th of March my friends have been calling me and writing emails if I'm ok. Some of them were advicing me to come back to Europe. It was nice to know that they care about me and it helps me face the reality.

But there were people who were calling my house in Poland and asking my relatives if I am alive not introducing themselves. They didn't care if I am ok. They just wanted to check to have a topic to gossip about. I bet they are laughing and wondering when I will come back.

But let me make some things clear: I stay, right here, where I am now, in Japan.

Why Am I staying? I hadn't been living in Japan since I was 3 years old. I hadn't been attending to school here. I'd never had a chance to make close friends here. I speak fluently japanese but I barely can write kanjis. Whenever I use a metro or train I'm looking for english describsion. I am half Japanese but I don't feel and I have never felt as I am Japanese. I am the foreigner in 'my own' country.

But why should I leave? Why should I go back to Poland? Am I not the foreigner in Poland too? I will never belong to anywhere. And thats why I'm staying here. Where my life wanted me to be. Where I was given to be.

Some people will never understand that. They think they know me but the truth is I was near them only for a while. And they will keep talking behind my back. But I am ok with that. Because my back is the only thing they will see in their lives.

If laugh is your way to deal with things which you do not understand, you will cry when you finally realize how much you hurt people by it.

If you hate - it is your loss.

Because I will be ok.

Not today.

Not tomorrow.

But some day, I will be ok.

Pola Chérie

The Ones2Watch Issue #10 'Asylum', Model: Keshia, Photographed by Lee Cropper,Styled by: Tena Strok; Nana Kokaev Autumn(Fall)/Winter 2011 Ad Campaign, Model: Sarah Barros, Photographed by: Gustavo Marx; C: fashiongonerogue.com, fashioncopious.typepad.com, fashionising.com

When You Are Gone

I wanted to go home

but there was no home

I called your name

but there was no answer

I tried to find you

but you were gone

Why did you leave me

When I love you so

~Pola Chérie When you are gone~

Pola Chérie Poems 2011 @ All rights reserved

Guy Bourdin Photography C: www.guybourdin.org

Fifth day after the Tragedy

I went to the park

for a walk.

They turned off all the lights in the city at ten o'clock. Sheduled blackout. But still makes me feel uncomfortable. They said sheduled blackouts can last for one month. Just like the aftershocks.

I was lucky. To be in the hometown of my mother, in one of the least damaged places in Japan. In the city where I was born. In the city which I left. To live 17 years abroad. To which I have returned

last November.

No water, no milk, no rice, no bread on the shelves of the shops if you don't hurry up in the morning. Lack of the petrol on the petrol stations too. But we are living. I don't remember what I have been doing for last five days. I went for a walk. All the shops and restaurants were closed. Many people were cleaning their houses.

Fifth day. I don't feel anything. Tired of watching the news. Not knowing why I am living. Usually empty park was full of children. Are the schools closed too?

Children laughting and playing happily.

Unaware of

people who are missing

people who lost their houses

people who lost their loved ones

people who are gone

and people who have to live

not knowing why.

Fifth day after the Tragedy

I went to the park

for a walk

In the city where

I was born

to live.

Pola Chérie

Pola Chérie Thoughts 2011 @ All rights reserved

Eliza Sys by David Bellemére (fashiongonerogue)

My God

My God

why have You abandoned Me

leaving Me helpless, forsaking and failing Me in My need?

Matthew 27: 46, Bible, New Testament, AB

Editorials Styled by Holly Suan Gray C: www.hollysuangray.4ormat.com

Help Japan

Stop Existing. Start living. Get involved. You can save a life. One life. One love. One world.

American Red Cross

Ralph Lauren

Canpan Fields

Save the Children

Non-Believers Giving Aid

NGO Jen

International Medical Corps

Association of Medical Doctors in Asia

Lady Gaga

Charity Ring

Songs for Japan

You can donate online or by texting ‘redcross’ to 90999 USA ($ 10 donation), 30333 CAN ($ 5 donation), 70600 UK (£5 donation)

The piano

When I'm sad
I think of You

playing the piano for me

on lonely Christmas

When I'm sad

I stand near You

playing the piano for me

on snowy Winter



When I'm sad

I listen to You

playing the piano for me

on silent Night



When I am sad
When my dreams are broken
When my steps sink down
When stairs collapse

When I fall into the water

When the sirens stop

When I try to take a breath
one more time
but I can't

I think of You

playing the piano for me

on lonely Christmas


~Pola Chérie The piano~

Pola Chérie Poems 2011 @ All rights reserved

Samuji Fall 2011, Photographed by: Nina Merikallio, Model: Ellu Arula, Styled by: Minttu Vesala (fashiongonerogue.com)

11th March 2011, Japan; Statement

It was only two weeks since I wrote about a girl missing after the earthquake in New Zealand when it happened. I thought it is now my time to die.

Recently my emotions become very stable. I had been working as always, I was happy to announce a release day of my artwork, I felt very peaceful and I was calm about tomorrow in the morning. In the morning of 11th of March.

As in deep shock I am now I thought I should take some break from blogging. Is there a meaning in writing when I can't save anyone by it? Isn't it wrong to me to safely sit in my room and write when people are missing, when people are losing their lives near me?

I am a very quiet person, I'm not talkative. I don't like to talk. Only thing I love is the conversation. I think I was prepared to write only to my drawer whole my life. And yesterday I lost a meaning and wanted to delate everything. But then something reminds me of promise I made myself few years ago. I promised myself To React. To Stand up. To Speak out. Whenever I feel I have to. I promised myself I won't watch in silence when something is wrong. When something bad happens. As I think being a writer is not a job but a mission to be devoted to other people, I felt thats my duty.

Someone would say: the earthquake. Again. Another disaster. Another misfortune. Another people lost their lives.

But what I felt in the moment of the earthquake is that We, Each of us, You and I have A Time To Die only once.

If that one moment came to thousands of people, how tragic this disaster is. How many people are crying. How many people needs help.

Silent days are coming to me.

I will be less active for few days as a blogger, I'm sorry.

Pola Chérie

My Dearest

(fashioncopious.typepad; fashiongonerogue)

What is your first ever memory of your life?
The oldest memory you remember from your childhood.
I'm writing since I remember. All my childhood my fingers was always black from atrament. And the gift I had been enjoying most as a kid was a notebook. I couldn't wait till I sit at my desk and make it full with words and illustrations.
But this is not my first memory from my childhood. My first ever memory of my life is a small toy lying on the ground on a train station. A cat-doll in a pink dress. Everyone is in hurry. My mother is pulling my hand. And I watch my little cat lying on the ground. But I don't say anything. I don't pick it up. I just watch it in silence.
When I asked my parents many years later about that they told me that cat-doll was my favourite toy and I didn't want to put it in my backpack and I was holding it in my hands all the way from Japan to Poland. But I lost it somewhere. They didn't notice it and they didn't know where I lost it. I was three years old.
I'm not sad I lost it. So many material things human wants to own. But the dearest for us are always the memories.
What is your first memory?

~Pola Chérie Thoughts~

Pola Chérie Thoughts 2011 @ All rights reserved

Helmet Magazine, Models: Grace Hollows, Zippora Seven and Georgia Fowler, Photographed by Liz Ham; A White Story Vogue Italia April 2010, Models: Sasha Pivovarova & Guinevere van Seenus, Photographed by Paolo Roversi, Styled by Jacob K; Playing Fashion March 2011, Models: Anais Pouliot & Marique Schimmel, Photographed by: Emma Tempest, Styled by: Verity Parker

What If The Truth Is You Have Never Existed

(image via fashiongonerogue)

Imagine that God is a writer. He knows exactly what kind of novel he wants to write. As a preparation process he thinks of each heroe. He thinks of their lives. Where they should be born, what they should experience to become who they are, who and in which timing heroes should meet each other so that story can go on like a creator wants to.

A writer when starts writing a novel have an image of a whole story, of the beginning and of the end. But while writing heroes starts to live their own lives, he discovers other faces of his own creatures and he sometimes gets surprised by decisions they made.

If God is a writer we only exist in his mind. But what we do in our life can force him to abandon us from his story.

That's what I think. The small earthquake surprised me while writing this. Great timing.

~Pola Chérie Thoughts~

Pola Chérie Thoughts 2011 @ All rights reserved

Versace Spring/Summer 2011 Accessories Campaign

No need to be Bad

(images via fashiongonerogue; fashioncopious.typepad)

I have a principle in my life:

When praised do not be conceited.
When spoken ill do not be depressed.

Because people say whatever they want to. Because there are people who are able to be saying how much they love you and admire you but when you walk away be making fun of you and talking false things.

I appreciate every kind word people tell me. But I don't use that happiness to glory. I put a happiness people give me deep in a drawer in my heart. And I save my happiness for harder times so that whenever I feel weak I can look inside and carry on.

Gratitute becomes a power to work harder. To do more. To give back people. Because whatever you give to world it will turn back to you.

I used to be too easly influenced by bad words someone tells me. Too easly be hurt. I was leaving in silence. And there is an illness that won't be ever healed but thats why I decided to stop pretending that I have nothing to say. And now I'm trying to stay away from the falsity as much as I can.

Whatever people say stay stable. Stay true. Stay you. But any word, bad or good, remember to think for what you had to hear it. Draw a conclusion. And go forward.
And even if you made a thousands of mistakes, there is no need to be a bad person.

~Pola Chérie Thoughts~

Muse Winter 2010, Model: Edita Vilkeviciute, Photographed by: Lachlan Bailey, Styled by: Alastair McKimm; Glam Slam V70, Photographed by: Mario Testino, Styled by: Andrew Richardson

I Wasn't Faithful My Heart Was Away

(fashiongonerogue)

It took me time to grow up. More than normal people need. It took me time to learn to smile again. It took me time to learn to forgive.

A Word.

A Pain.

My Happiness.

You told me: You will be lonely whole your life if you will keep acting like that. And now you are telling your friends with a massive satisfaction that you were right. And you are right. I have abandoned everything what I loved. But there is something you do not understand. Many years ago a cold dagger which hurted me almost for death became a lover of my life.

Early I told to God: Who wants to be born to be a flower trampled by others. I want to dissapear, be invisible, be a rock which don't feel anything. And I wanted to cross the river. But I haven't got any coin to pay a ferryman because I yet did nothing in my life. And I heard a whisper: go back and save other lives with this dagger. It will be hurting your hands and makes you cry and you will be lonely all your life but you will stand up for others who are in need and your hard work will bring a happiness to others. And I said to God: I am devoted to You.

A Word.

A Pain.

Since you left me I can't fall asleep alone in the darkness. But I don't miss you. I wasn't faithful my heart was away.

Weird. More I want to save people more afraid of their hearts I am.

A Word.

~Pola Chérie Letters~

Vogue Italia November 2008, Jessica Stam by Sølve Sundsbø